My mother-in-law had a meltdown about my wedding: DEAR JANE

Dear Jane,

My fiancé’s mom has been a pain for as long as we’ve been together.

She is overbearing, rude and frankly fits the stereotype of a demanding and territorial mother-in-law.

I have just dealt with it for years, always showing kindness and empathy to her for my fiancé’s sake, even though he is aware of just how difficult she can be.

But now she has crossed a line – and I don’t think I can overlook it.

As the wedding has drawn closer, she has tried to be more and more involved. I’ve allowed some of her demands to slip through – such as suggestions for floral arrangements and food – she is, after all, contributing half of the cost.

However, she has increasingly made more outrageous demands – including, most recently, about my dress.

I showed her the gown the other week because I thought it would be a nice bonding experience. 

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But she completely flipped out when she saw it, exclaiming that it was ‘too racy’ and ‘inappropriate,’ simply because it is slightly low cut and hugs my figure. 

She went so far as to say she was embarrᴀssed that I was going to marry her son in that dress with his entire family in attendance.

In fact, she threatened that if I didn’t change my dress, she’d revoke the money she promised to give us and not show up to the wedding.

I was shocked and when I told my fiancé what happened, he was incredibly supportive. He said I should do what I want and ignore her, even though he knew she might not show up to our big day as a result.

While it is a kind gesture, I can’t help but feel guilty if I take him up on it. Now, I’m torn between doing what I want for my wedding, or conceding to his mother for his sake.

Sincerely,

Monster-in-Law

International best-selling author Jane Green offers sage advice on readers’ most burning issues in her agony aunt column

Dear Monster-in-Law,

I know a thing or two about this, and I advise you to stop feeling guilty.

When your fiancé’s mother demands to call the sH๏τs, to remain the most important woman in his life, trying to please her will lead to disaster. 

You might be able to pull it off for a while, but your resentment will build until you want nothing to do with her whatsoever.

Having an imposing, demanding and difficult mother-in-law is hell on earth, and made very much worse when your husband is still tied to her, emotionally or otherwise, and won’t stand up to her. 

Be very grateful that’s not what you’re dealing with. 

Your fiancé gave you the perfect advice: do what you want for your wedding and ignore his mom. 

If she chooses not to show up, poor her. She will have missed the most important day of her son’s life – and that is her loss.

The fact that he’s putting your wants and needs before hers tells me that you’ve made a very good choice with your fiancé.

Stick to your guns, wear the dress you love and know that there should not be a single person at that ceremony who isn’t thrilled for both of you.